Why You Still Don't Know To Single Or Double Click


          this is why  you still don't know  to click "once" or  to "double
          click." For those  of you who have had  experience with computers
          and their  glitches and  idiosyncrasies, and  downright illogical
          workings, you'll appreciate the following.

               At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly  =
          compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:
          "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry
          has, we would all be driving $25.00  cars that got 1,000 miles to
          the gallon."

               In  response to  Bill's comments,  General  Motors issued  a
          press  release  stating:  "If GM  had  developed  technology like
          Microsoft,  we  would  all  be driving  cars  with  the following
          characteristics:

          1.  For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
          2.  Every  time they repainted the  lines in the road,  you would
          have to buy a new car.
          3.  Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.
          You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of
          the car windows, shut  it off, restart it, and reopen the windows
          before  you could  continue.   For some  reason you  would simply
          accept this.
          4.  Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left  turn would
          cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in  which case
          you would have to reinstall the engine.
          5.  Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought
          "Car NT", but then you would have to buy more seats.
          6.  Macintosh would make a  car that was powered by the sun,  was
          reliable, five  times as fast  and twice as  easy to drive  - but
          would only run on five percent of the roads.
          7.  The  oil, water temperature, and alternator  warning lights =
          would all  be replaced  by a  single  "General Protection  Fault"
          warning light.
          8.  New seats  would force everyone to have the  same sized butt.
          9.   The  air  bag  system  would  ask  "are  you  SURE?"  before
          deploying.  10.  Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car
          would  lock  you  out  and  refuse   to  let  you  in  until  you
          simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed
          hold of the radio antenna.
          11.  GM  would require all car  buyers to also purchase  a deluxe
          set of  Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though
          they  neither need  nor want  them.   Attempting  to delete  this
          option  would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish
          by  50%  or  more.    Moreover,  GM  would become  a  target  for
          investigation by the Justice Dept.
          12.  Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to
          learn to drive  all over again because none of the controls would
          operate in the same manner as the old car.
          13.  You'd  have to press the  "Start" button to turn  the engine
          off.