In the Beginning The Internet


          An old bearded shepherd with a crooked staff walked up to a stone
          pulpit and said, "And lo, it came to pass  that the trader by the
          name of  Abraham Com did  take unto himself  a young wife  by the
          name of Dot.   And Dot Com was a comely  woman, broad of shoulder
          and long of leg. Indeed, she had  been called Amazon Dot Com. And
          she said  unto Abraham, her  husband, "Why doth thou  travel far,
          from town  to town,  with thy goods  when thou can  trade without
          ever leaving thy  tent"?  And Abraham  did look at her  as though
          she were several  saddle bags short of  a camel load, but  simply
          said, "How,  Dear?" And Dot  replied, "I will place  drums in all
          the towns and  drums in between to send  messages saying what you
          have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best
          price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by
          Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."   Abraham thought long and decided he
          would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out
          and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had,
          at the  top price, without  ever moving from  his tent. But  this
          success did arouse envy.  A man named Maccabia did secret himself
          in side  Abraham's drum and  was accused of insider  trading. And
          the young man  did take to Dot  Com's trading as doth  the greedy
          horsefly  take   to  camel   dung.  They   were  called   Nomadic
          Ecclesiastical  Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short. And
          lo, the land was so feverish with  joy at the new riches and  the
          deafening  sound of  drums, that  no  one noticed  that the  real
          riches  were going  to the  drum  maker, one  Brother William  of
          Gates, who bought up every  drum company in the land. And  indeed
          did insist on  making drums that  would work only  if you  bought
          Brother Gates' drumsticks.   And Dot did say,  "Oh, Abraham, what
          we have started  is being taken over  by others." And  as Abraham
          looked out  over the Bay  of Ezekiel, or as  it came to  be known
          "eBay," he said, "we need a name that reflects what we  are," and
          Dot   replied,   "Young   Ambitious   Hebrew  Owner   Operators."
          "Whoopee!", said Abraham, "No, YAHOO!" said Dot Com.  And that is
          how it all began. It wasn't Al Gore after all.