Big Problems In Heaven
           
           
           
                                      Gabriel came to the  Lord and said, "I have  to talk to you.   We
          have some rednecks  up here who are  causing problems.   They are
          swinging on the pearly gates,  my horn is missing, barbecue sauce
          is all over their  robes, their dogs are riding in  the chariots,
          and  they're wearing  baseball caps  and cowboy  hats instead  of
          their crowns you gave them.  They  refuse to keep the stairway to
          your throne  clean.   There are fried  chicken bones,  pickle pig
          feet left overs, and watermelon remains all over the place.  they
          are  laughing  and whooping  and  hollering  and  some  are  even
          shooting their pistols into the air."

               The Lord  said, "Rednecks are rednecks, Gabriel.   Heaven is
          Home  to  all  my children.    If  you want  to  know  about real
          problems, call the Devil and see how he is getting along."

               The Devil answered the phone, "Hello?  Hold on a minute."

               The Devil was gone for a few moments before returning.  "OK,
          I'm back.  What can I do for you?"

               Gabriel said,  "I just  want to know  what kind  of problems
          you're having down there."

               The Devil said, "Oh, shoot!  Hold on again.  I need to check
          on something."

               After about  5 minutes the  Devil returned to the  phone and
          said, "I'm back.  Now what was the question?"

               Gabriel  said, "What  kind of problems  are you  having down
          there?"

               The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this.  Hold  on again,
          please."

               This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes.  The Devil returned
          and said, "I'm sorry, Gabriel, but I can't talk right now.  Those
          rednecks have put  out the fire and  are trying to install  a 100
          ton air conditioner."