Forrest Gump Makes It to Heaven
Forrest Gump died and went to Heaven. When he got to the
pearly gates, Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect
due to the advances in education on Earth. In order to gain
admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer three
1. Name two days of the week that begin with the letter T.
2. How many seconds are in a year?
3. What is God's first name?
Forrest thought for a few minutes and answered, "The two days of
the week that begin with T are Today and Tomorrow. There are
twelve seconds in a year. And God has two first names. They are
Andy and Howard."
Saint Peter said, "Okay, I'll buy Today and Tomorrow. Even
though it's not the answer I expected, your answer is correct.
But how did you get twelve seconds in a year, and why did you
ever think that God's first name is either Andy or Howard?"
Forrest responded, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March
2nd and so on."
"OK, I'll give you that one, too," said Saint Peter, "but
what about the God"s first name stuff?"
Forrest said, "Well, from the song, Andy walks with me, Andy
talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own. And the prayer, Our
Father, who art in Heaven, Howard be thy name."
Saint Peter let him in without further ado.
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