The Logan County Hill-Billy Preacher
Let me tell you the story of the Logan County hill-billy
that thought he was called to preach. When he spoke to the
brethren at Church, they told him that he would have to submit to
an examination, to which he readily agreed.
"Brother Fraley, can you read," he was asked.
"Yes, I can read readin', but I can't read writin'," was his
"Well, do you know your Bible?"
"Yes, I shore 'nouf do; in fact, I am pretty good in the
Bible. I know my Bible from lid to lid, from kivver to kivver,
and from Generations to Revolutions."
"What part of the Bible do ya like best?"
"Well sir, I like the New Textamint."
"What book then do ya like best?"
"I like the book of Parables."
"Which of the parables do you like best?"
"I like the parable of the Good Cemeterian the best."
"Well, tell us about the Good Samaritan."
"Once upon a time a man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho
and fell among thorns and they grew up and choked him. So he went
on and didn't have any money and met the Queen of Sheba who gave
him a thousand talents of gold earrings and 100 chances on a
horse. He got into his chariot and drove furiously and while he
was driving under a tree, his hair caught among the limbs and he
hung there three days and three nights. The ravens brought him
food to eat and water to drink. One night while he was hanging
there, his wife came along and cut his hair, and he fell on the
stony ground where it rained forty days and forty nights. He hid
himself in a cave where he met a man who said 'come have supper
with me' to whom he said 'I have married a wife and cannot come
now.' So the man went into the highways and byways and compelled
him to come and have supper with him. After supper, he went into
Jericho and sitting in a high window was Jezebel. When she saw
him, she laughed, and they flang her down from the window. And
they flang her down, and they flang her down some more. They
flang her down some more, until 70 times 70 and seven times more,
and the fragments they picked up were 12 baskets shook down for
good measure full. Now whose wife is she going to be in the
judgment because she brake in pieces and multiplied? Amen and
The examiners sat in silence for a few minutes. Finally one
of them said, "These am some thoughtful delineations our brother
has pronounced to us. I recommend that he be accepted unanimously
as our new preacher, because he shore do know Bible from lid to
lid, from kivver to kivver, and all about Generations clean
through to Revolutions.
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