The Bear Truth


               A priest, a  rabbi and a Pentecostal preacher  all served as
          chaplains to the  students of Northern  Michigan U in  Marquette.
          They would get  together two or three times a week for coffee and
          to talk shop.

               One day  someone made the  comment that preaching  to people
          isn't really that hard.  A real challenge would be to preach to a
          bear.  Well,  one thing led  to another and  before it was  over,
          they decided to  do a 7 day  experiment.  They  would all go  out
          into  the woods,  find a  bear  and preach  to it  and  return to
          discuss their results.

               It's now  7 days later  and they're all together  to discuss
          the experience.

               Father  O'Flannery,  who has  his  arm  in  a sling,  is  on
          crutches,  and has  various bandages, speaks  first.   "Well," he
          says  in a fine Irish brogue, "I went  out into the woods to find
          me a bear.  And when I found him I began to read  to him from the
          Baltimore Catechism.  Well, that bear wanted naught to do with me
          and begun  to slap me  about.  So  I quick grabbed  me holy water
          and, THE  SAINTS BE PRAISED, he became as  gentle as a lamb.  The
          bishop is  coming out next week  to give him  first communion and
          confirmation."

               Reverend Billy Bob speaks next.  He's in a wheel chair, with
          an arm and both legs in casts and an I.V. drip.  In his best fire
          and brimstone  oratory, he proclaims,  "WELL brothers,   you KNOW
          that we don't sprinkle;  we DUNK!   I went out and  I FOUND me  a
          bear. And  then I began to read to him from God's WORD.  But that
          bear wanted nothing to do with me.   I SAY NO!  He wanted NOTHING
          to do  with me.  So I  took HOLD of him and  we began to wrestle.
          We wrestled down  one hill, UP another and  DOWN another until we
          come to  a crick.   So I quick  Dunked him and  BAPTIZE his hairy
          soul.  And jus like you says, he was gentle as a  lamb.  We spent
          the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's word."

               They  both  looked down  at  the  rabbi  who's laying  in  a
          hospital bed.   He's in  a body cast  and traction with  IV's and
          monitors running in and  out of him.  The rabbi looks up and says
          "Oy!  You  don't know what tough  is until you try  to circumcise
          one of those creatures."