The Bear Truth
A priest, a rabbi and a Pentecostal preacher all served as
chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan U in Marquette.
They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and
to talk shop.
One day someone made the comment that preaching to people
isn't really that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a
bear. Well, one thing led to another and before it was over,
they decided to do a 7 day experiment. They would all go out
into the woods, find a bear and preach to it and return to
discuss their results.
It's now 7 days later and they're all together to discuss
Father O'Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on
crutches, and has various bandages, speaks first. "Well," he
says in a fine Irish brogue, "I went out into the woods to find
me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the
Baltimore Catechism. Well, that bear wanted naught to do with me
and begun to slap me about. So I quick grabbed me holy water
and, THE SAINTS BE PRAISED, he became as gentle as a lamb. The
bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and
Reverend Billy Bob speaks next. He's in a wheel chair, with
an arm and both legs in casts and an I.V. drip. In his best fire
and brimstone oratory, he proclaims, "WELL brothers, you KNOW
that we don't sprinkle; we DUNK! I went out and I FOUND me a
bear. And then I began to read to him from God's WORD. But that
bear wanted nothing to do with me. I SAY NO! He wanted NOTHING
to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle.
We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we
come to a crick. So I quick Dunked him and BAPTIZE his hairy
soul. And jus like you says, he was gentle as a lamb. We spent
the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's word."
They both looked down at the rabbi who's laying in a
hospital bed. He's in a body cast and traction with IV's and
monitors running in and out of him. The rabbi looks up and says
"Oy! You don't know what tough is until you try to circumcise
one of those creatures."
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