How To Support The Democrats Party Platform


           1.  You have to believe  the AIDS virus  is spread by  a lack of
          federal funding.

          2. You have  to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th
          graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids
          about sex.

          3. You  have to  believe that  guns in  the hands of  law-abiding
          Americans  are  more  of  a  threat  than  U.S.  nuclear  weapons
          technology in the hands of North Korean communists.

          4. You  have to  believe that  there  was no  art before  federal
          funding.

          5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected
          by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate,  and more
          affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

          6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being
          homosexual is natural.

          7.  You  have  to  be  against  capital  punishment  but  support
          abortion-on-demand.

          8.  You have  to  believe that  businesses create  oppression and
          governments create prosperity.

          9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature,  but
          loony activists do who have never been outside of Seattledo.

          10. You have  to believe that self-esteem is  more important than
          actually doing something to earn it.

          11. You  have to believe  the military, not  corrupt politicians,
          start wars.

          12.  You  have to  believe the  NRA is  bad, because  it supports
          certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because
          it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

          13. You have to believe that taxes are  too low, but ATM fees are
          too high.

          14. You have  to believe that Margaret Sanger  and Gloria Steinem
          are more  important to  American history  than Thomas  Jefferson,
          General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.

          15. You have  to believe that standardized tests  are racist, but
          racial quotas and set-asides aren't.

          16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady.

          17. You  have to  believe that the  only reason  socialism hasn't
          worked  anywhere it's  been tried,  is  because the  right people
          haven't been in charge.

          18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in
          jail, but a liar and sex offender can live in the White House.

          19. You have to believe  that homosexual parades displaying drag,
          transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected
          and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

          20. You have to believe  that illegal Democratic Party funding by
          the Chinese  is  somehow in  the  best interest  of   the  United
          States.

          21. You have to believe that this email is part  of a  vast right
          wing conspiracy.