Things Not To Say To Police Officers


          1.   Sorry, Officer,  I didn't realize  my radar  detector wasn't
          plugged in.
          2.  Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
          3.  Hey, you must  have been doing about 125 mph to  keep up with
          me. Good job!
          4.  Are You Andy or Barney?
          5.  I  thought you had to  be in good physical condition  to be a
          police officer.
          6.  You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
          7.  I pay your salary!
          8.  Gee, Officer! That's terrific.  The last officer only gave me
          a warning too!
          9.  Do you  know why you pulled me over? Okay, just  so one of us
          does.
          10. I was  trying to keep  up with traffic.  I know there are  no
          other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
          11. When  the Officer says  "Gee Son....your eyes look  red, have
          you been  drinking?" You  probably shouldn't  respond with,  "Gee
          Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"