Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road Politically And Religiously Speaking?


          GEORGE W. BUSH.
          We don't really care  why the chicken crossed  the road. We  just
          want to  know if the  chicken is on our side of the  road or not.
          The chicken is either  with us  or it is against us. There is  no
          middle ground here.

          AL GORE. I  invented the chicken. I invented  the road. Therefore,
          the  chicken   crossing the road  represented the  application of
          these two different functions  of government in a new, reinvented
          way designed to bring greater services  to the American people
          The eggs, therefore, belong to me.

          BILL CLINTON.  I  did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
          What do you mean by  chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

          Hillery Clinton.
          If the chicken crossed the road, I will buy 1,000 chickens and
          within a year, I will give you 100,000 chickens.

          O J Simpson.
          I am still hunting for the true chicken.

          RALPH NADER
          The chicken's  habitat on the original side  of the road had been
          polluted  by unchecked industrialist  greed. The chicken  did not
          reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because
          it was crushed by the  wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

          PAT BUCHANAN
          To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

          RUSH LIMBAUGH
          I don't know  why the chicken crossed  the road, but I'll  bet it
          was  getting a  government grant to cross the road,  and I'll bet
          someone  out there  is already  forming a  support group  to help
          chickens with crossing-the-road  syndrome. How much more  of this
          can real Americans  take? Chickens  crossing the road paid for by
          their tax dollars, and when I  say tax dollars, I'm talking about
          your money, money  the government took from  you to build   roads
          for chickens to cross.

          MARTHA STEWART
          No one called to warn  me which way that chicken was going. I had
          a  standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the
          price  dropped to   a certain level.  No little bird  gave me any
          insider information.

          Rev. Jesse Jackson
          Absolutely no chicken ever crossed the road.  I know because I
          was there.  If there had been a chicken there,  it would have
          been a white chicken and it would have served him right.

          JERRY FALWELL
          Because the chicken  was gay! Isn't it obvious?  Can't you people
          see the plain  truth in front of your face? The chicken was going
          to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the  other side.
          Yes, my  friends,   that chicken  is gay.  And, if  you eat  that
          chicken, you will  become gay too.  I say we boycott all chickens
          until  we sort  out  this  abomination that  the   liberal  media
          whitewashes  with  seemingly  harmless phrases  like  "the  other
          side."

          DR. SEUSS
          Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes,
          The chicken crossed  the road, but why it crossed,  I've not been
          told!

          ERNEST HEMINGWAY
          To die. In the rain. Alone.

          GRANDPA
          In  my  day, we  didn't  ask why  the  chicken crossed  the road.
          Someone told   us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was
          good enough for us.

          BARBARA WALTERS
          Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will  be listening to
          the  chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story  of
          how  it experienced   a serious  case of  molting and went  on to
          accomplish its life-long dream  of crossing the road.

          JOHN LENNON
          Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

          ARISTOTLE
          It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

          KARL Marx
          It was a historical inevitability.

          SADDAM HUSSEIN
          This  was  an unprovoked  act  of  rebellion  and we  were  quite
          justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

          RONALD REAGAN
          What chicken?

          CAPTAIN KIRK
          To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

          FOX MULDER
          You saw  it cross  the road  with your  own eyes!  How many  more
          chickens  have to cross before you believe it?

          SIGMUND FREUD
          The fact  that you are at all  concerned that the chicken crossed
          the  road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

          BILL GATES
          I have  just released  eChicken 2003, which  will not  only cross
          roads,   but will  lay eggs, file  your important  documents, and
          balance  your     checkbook  -  and   Internet  Explorer  is   an
          inextricable part of eChicken.

          ALBERT EINSTEIN
          Did the  chicken  really cross  the  road or  did the  road  move
          beneath the chicken?

          THE BIBLE
          And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
          "Thou shalt  cross the road."  And the chicken crossed  the road,
          and there was  much rejoicing.

          COLONEL SANDERS
          I missed one