TOP 10 THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR A DAD SAY


          10. Well,  how 'bout that?...I'm  lost! Looks like we'll  have to
          stop and ask for directions.
          9. You  know Pumpkin, now  that you're thirteen, you'll  be ready
          for unchaperoned car dates.  Won't that be fun?
          8.  I noticed  that all  your friends  have a certain  "up yours"
          attitude.  ...I like that.
          7. Here's a credit card and  the keys to my new car --  GO CRAZY.
          6. What do you mean you wanna play football?  Figure  skating not
          good enough for you, son?
          5. Your Mother and I  are going away for the  weekend...you might
          want to consider throwing a party.
          4. Well, I don't  know what's wrong with your car.   Probably one
          of those doo-hickey  thingies -- you know -- that makes it run or
          something.  Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay  whatever he
          asks.
          3. No son  of mine is  going to live  under this roof without  an
          earring -- now quit your belly-aching,  and let's go to the mall.
          2. Whaddya wanna go  and get a job for?   I make plenty of  money
          for you to spend.
          And The Number One Thing You'll Never Hear A Dad Say:
          1. Father's Day?  aahh, don't worry about that; it's no big deal.

          (Okay, they might say it, but they don't mean it).