Advantages Of Age


          Long ago when old men cursed and beat the ground with  sticks, it
          was called  witchcraft but today it's called golf.
          Eventually you will reach a point  when you stop lying about your
          age and  start bragging about it.
          The older we  get, the fewer  things seem worth  waiting in  line
          for.
          Some  people try  to turn  back their  odometers. Not me,  I want
          people to know  why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and
          some of the roads weren't  paved.
          How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
          When  you are dissatisfied  and would like  to go back  to youth,
          think of  Algebra.
          You  know you are getting old when  everything either dries up or
          leaks.
          One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is
          such a nice  change from being young.
          One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
           Ah, being  young is  beautiful, but being  old is  comfortable. 
          Old age  is when former classmates  are so gray and  wrinkled and
          bald, they  don't recognize you.
          If  you don't learn to laugh  at trouble, you won't have anything
          to laugh at  when you are old.
          First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to
          pull up  your zipper, then .... Oh my goodness you forgot to pull
          your zipper down!
          If  you jog in  a jogging suit,  lounge in  lounging pajamas, and
          smoke in a  smoking jacket,  WHY would anyone want to wear a wind
          breaker?
          Best of all, I don't know how I got over the hill without getting
          to  the top.