And They're Off And running

                             By Hardy Holm


          John  Coyle and  I should  have been  asleep  that night,  but we
          weren't,  and  the  demon was  upon  us,  and one  of  us  had an
          inspiration.  We were displeased with something that Jerry Eckery
          had done.  I don't remember now what it  was, but it probably had
          to do with his  informing on us for some supposed  crime to Jerry
          R.  At any rate, we  decided it would be particularly heinous  if
          the house parent came in, in the morning, to wake up Jerry E. and
          found he and his roommate with their beds pushed together. I know
          that it was not fair to the unfortunate roommate, Mitch Mitchell,
          but it  was wicked  and outrageous and  destined to  occur. Well,
          maybe not exactly destined, so  we decided to help destiny along.
          We got  Brad Fenster in on the conspiracy, made certain that both
          Jerry  and Mitch were both safely asleep,  and then we crept into
          their room. JC  and I picked  up the head  of Mitchell's bed  and
          Brad had  the foot. While  we had him  airborne, he woke  up, sat
          straight up in bed, and said "Aah haa!" or something of the sort.
          Well, at any rate, we dropped his bed in the middle of the floor,
          and a  merry mad cap chase ensued.   You see when  we dropped his
          bed from  several feet in  the air,  Mitchell screamed in  a very
          high  pitched and  shrill voice.  This  woke Jerry  E. who  began
          yelling stuff like "What the Hell (expletive deleted)  We all ran
          out  of the room  with Jerry E.  in hot pursuit.  Unfortunately I
          intended  to run  down the hall  and slam someone  else's door to
          throw  suspicion  in  a  different direction.  But,  in  all  the
          excitement, I jumped a couple paces  too far, and across the hall
          into my own room. At this point Mitch thrust his head in  my door
          and  again  said "Aah  haa!  Aah haa!"  I  then  ran through  the
          bathroom  into  David Grossoehme's  room  waking  him up  with  a
          torrent of the most foul profanity. I slammed the door behind me,
          but at this point, it seems I had become the leader of a Keystone
          Cops chase scene. Brad  was right behind me, and behind  him John
          Coyle,  and then  Jerry  E.  bringing up  the  rear, and  cursing
          loudly.  We then proceeded to run down to the end of the hall  in
          and out of various rooms, with increasing yelling and slamming of
          doors.  When  we  reached  the  dead  end  of  the  hall  we  all
          successively entered  George Stoltenberg  and Jim Jurgen's  room,
          with  each of us  slamming the door  on those behind  us. Jim and
          George were both yelling a good bit, and Jim J. had hopped out of
          bed and grabbed  Jerry E. and slammed him against the wall with a
          good solid, "What the  Hell's going on?"  At this point, I had an
          inspiration to run back to my own room, and pretend to be asleep.
          Unfortunately for me I heard at this very moment, thundering down
          the hall from the house parents's room, "What the Hell's going on
          down  there?"   Well  the only  thing  we could  do then  was run
          through the bathroom into  Hank Johnson and Brad Fenster's  room.
          This  worked out well  for Fenster, but  not for JC  and me. Brad
          just hopped in  bed and pretended  to be asleep,  but John and  I
          were trapped. Like fools we hid beneath the beds, while the house
          parent checked each  room, with a running commentary.   "David G.
          and Garry are in their rooms. George  and Jim are in their rooms,
          and Brad and  Hank are in their  beds, but the people  under them
          aren't."  Well, we had to come forth in disgrace. We also  had to
          take out the garbage and be on laundry detail for the rest of the
          year. I think there were other punishments as well,  but at least
          I got this outrageous tale out of the deal.

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