The New Year's Day From Hell

                         By Brooke Householder


          My  roommate and I had a few  friends over for New Year's Eve two
          years ago. We went through a ton of trash, and on New Year's Day,
          we decided it just had to go  to the dumpster. So we loaded it up
          in this great big laundry basket we had, each took a  handle, and
          proceeded to trek  our way through  six inches of  snow with  two
          canes.     We somehow managed to get all six bags of trash to the
          dumpster,  and we  unloaded them.  Then  we headed  back for  our
          apartment, each holding one handle of the basket. Halfway  there,
          this lady  in her car  rolled down her  window to call  out, "Now
          that's  what I  call teamwork!!  I  wish more  people could  work
          together like that! Happy New Year!"     We did okay until we got
          to our hill, and then somehow we lost our bearings. We walked and
          walked,  falling  through snowdrifts,  tripping  down steps,  and
          trying to avoid  walking down the middle of  the street. Finally,
          we came to a building  and went inside, half frozen. We  couldn't
          hear anything,  so we  decided that the  building, a  church, was
          vacant. We sat  down for about a  half hour to thaw,  and then we
          went into the basement to call the police. They figured out where
          we were,  and when they pulled up, we  heard, "The two lost souls
          have been found." They drove us home in a squad car, which really
          humored the  neighbors.      A  few days later,  we realized we'd
          left our laundry basket there. My roommate's father actually went
          over there to pick  it up and told the preacher  the whole story.
          It was so embarrassing.